Gwen Burdick
9/23/61 – 7/14/19
Always loved, always remembered
The following were written by Gwen during her years with us at The Yoga Sanctuary.
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May 2016
Many years ago my best friend sent me a copy of the book When Things Fall Apart by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. At the time I was unfamiliar with her work, but my life was definitely falling apart and out of my control. So I was interested in what it might offer to help me make sense of what, at the time, did not make sense.
I read, “Only to the extent that we are willing to subject ourselves over and over again to complete annihilation, can that which is indestructible be found in us,” and found these words to be remarkably comforting. It was an aha moment that changed my perspective altogether. Of course it was not difficult to be happy when everything was easy and going my way. But I was at least partially aware of the spiritual dimension of life, and I wanted to discover that which was indestructible within me. So here was my chance. The catastrophic circumstances of my life were not likely to improve, but I was determined to embrace my greatest teacher: annihilation.
Much more recently I had the opportunity to witness this year’s class of nervous graduating high school seniors, my oldest daughter among them, go through the grueling and selective college application process. Supremely qualified candidates with high hopes organized and sent their big GPAs, impressive class ranks, extreme test scores, fabulous letters of recommendation, skillful art supplements, financial documents, long lists of notable athletic and extra-curricular accomplishments, and, finally, the personal essay to hypercompetitive university admissions offices across the country.
After what seemed to be an endless wait period, the results came in. The award-winning essays (I read a lot of them with interest) were those that described some episode of failure and what was learned as a result. The kids who fared the best were those who had embraced the Buddhist teaching of annihilation (Goddess Kali in Yoga and the 8th house in Jyotish) and told honestly and courageously how disappointment, obstacles, loss, and other painful experiences helped them become more patient, caring, and purpose-filled.
My Savana, who was raised on a fairly heavy diet of Eastern philosophy, did not get into her first-choice school. But with that option annihilated, she got into my first-choice school, and happily and indestructibly accepted the merit scholarship to study ecosystem science and policy at University of Miami, class of 2020. Go ‘Canes!
April 2015
I was eleven years old when I watched Mark Spitz win his seven gold medals in the 1972 Olympics. A nearly full-size poster of him in the red, white and blue speedo hung on my sister’s closet door. My father’s stopwatch was always nearby. We were a family of swimmers. Six AM and six PM daily practices were not to be missed. “Train hard, Swim fast, Win” was the prevailing philosophy in our home. Then one day in High School, a gym teacher held a yoga class and, for the first time, I experienced a non-competitive land activity that felt natural. I didn’t know why, but I made a note of it.
Later, as I was receiving a formal education, the “Win” philosophy became “Learn.” Math, Physics, Art, Foreign Language, Biochemistry, even Religion courses were offered and all were thrilling to me. But I noticed that most of my classmates seemed to know what they wanted to be when they grew up. I did not. They only thing I knew for sure that I wanted to be when I grew up was wiser. And I began to doubt if any of this knowledge was getting me closer to that.
Grace dawned in my thirties; I met a Swami from the Himalayas. He touched my heart and it opened. I started to feel. He instructed me on a few basic things: posture, breath, food and japa meditation which made sense to me. He spoke to me about service to others and very gently pointed out some of my characters flaws that I didn’t want to admit to myself but knew I would have to address. He told me that the most important thing I could do was to be happy. Soon after he sent me on my way, my daughters were born and, coping with the hullabaloo of motherhood, the importance of Yoga Science and Philosophy became crystal clear.
Today, as I try to integrate what I think I know, I realize that swimming introduced me to the value of pratyahara and pranayama. Academia stirred an interest in the jnana yoga path. Family life gives me a direct experience with the karma and bhakti paths of yoga. Yogananda said “Everything else can wait, the search for God can not wait.” The best advice I can give my beautifully willful, stressed-out and frequently injured teenage girls these days is, “Practice, Study, Serve, and Surrender.” Then just keep going.
April 2014
“The yogi is entitled to action only, not to the fruits of his actions.” —Bhagavad Gita
The first time I read this passage I cried. Jumping to the negative interpretation, which was my habit, I understood this to mean that no matter what I did, no matter how many right actions I performed, I would not get what I really wanted in life. So why bother? I had enough self-awareness, however, to realize that this line of thinking was not helping me. I knew I needed to reconsider. Were the scriptures really meant to frustrate and depress us? Not likely.
Around the same time I encountered this passage, I noticed that there were some pretty wonderful things developing in my life—namely, my two beautiful daughters Savana and Lily. And I remembered frequently what my guru years ago had told us students over and over. “Perform your actions skillfully, selflessly, and lovingly without attachment to the results.” He was reiterating what the Gita said. When I considered this in the context of my glorious job as a mom to two girls, it was so much easier to grasp.
Today I am at the stage of life where I feel a lot of responsibility. My girls are teenagers and my parents, elderly. Right action can be pretty challenging, and I don’t always see the results I am hoping for. But my meditation practice is stronger than it has ever been and, as a result, I am better able to recognize that I am not the drama of my life.
In the past year I have witnessed some remarkable events. My oldest daughter’s soccer team played in the finals of the Division One President’s Cup. My husband of 17 years divorced me. And my parents demonstrated large and unexpected acts of generosity. Through the ups and downs, I attempt to see all events in life as fruits—and not MY fruits. This helps be to be glad on a daily basis.
June 2012
My first experience with yoga was in a high school PE class. I was a competitive swimmer in perfect physical condition at the time, but I remember thinking, “This is really important.” I didn’t know why. Then I promptly went back to “sleep” and a decade of darkness followed. In my twenties the search for some sort of light became an urgent and full-time matter. One day I stumbled across a man wearing a mala; he was a homeopath and talked about yoga. I listened.
He invited me to various events and suggested a trip to Pennsylvania to visit the Himalayan Institute founded by Swami Rama. Although I had never heard of Swami Rama, when I arrived it was clear to me that I was in my Father’s house. I dropped anchor-I knew I was home. During my years at the Institute I worked in the art department of Yoga International magazine and traveled a couple times to India. I had received a formal education, but at the Himalayan Institute I learned things that seemed to be hidden from the rest of the world.
When I gathered enough courage, I re-entered the “real” world. The avalanche of joy that had been promised to me quickly showed up in the form of my two daughters, Savana and Lily, the treasures of my heart. We were living in sunny Florida where I always wanted to be. When my girls started school I was struck by what the students were not learning, so I volunteered to bring meditation to the classroom once a week. Meanwhile, I discovered a group of people like myself, who were trying to bring yoga into the school system. I jumped at the chance to get Yoga Ed certified. I now teach yoga to children in both public and private schools.
Teaching the next generation is thrilling for so many reasons. Classes are full of wipeouts and hilarity. At the end of class when I finally manage to get everyone into Savasana, I draw from the great teachings that have been most meaningful to me-the 12 Steps, Abraham, A Course in Miracles, the Vedas, The Gospel According to Matthew, and the Gita-and attempt to bring it all together in a way kids can grasp. It’s pretty easy actually; I just let part of myself be a kid again!
Some of my favorites:
Favorite food: Anything Mexican and super spicy!
Favorite book: Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda
Favorite posture: Standing Forward Bend
Favorite kid’s posture: Headstand Prep